


A Girl Walks into a Bar

by AnxiousUnicorn



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Almost like a romantic comedy but I'm not sorry, Alternate Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-11 01:23:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16466015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousUnicorn/pseuds/AnxiousUnicorn
Summary: Title inspired by the song by Tyler Farr. This story is set in the alternate ending universe from Episode Ignis *spoilers* where Ignis doesn't lose his sight and Noct doesn't die. It's after Insomina has been rebuilt, so I'd say our MCs are about 32-33yrs old. This story has no purpose other than fanservice to myself and all the other fangirls who think Ignis Scientia is an intelligent and sweet personality wrapped up in a sexy, masculine body.





	A Girl Walks into a Bar

**Author's Note:**

> If you have been reading my BOTW fic and wondering where the hell I've been or why it hasn't been updated in months...................
> 
> umm... life? :( And I also started playing FFXV and fell in love with Ignis... So I started this and Link and Zelda kinda went to the back of my mind. Ignis has been nearly screaming at me to get out and play. ;) Enjoy.

Dannika crouched among the brush. She’d been tracking this particular spiracorn for three weeks. Its horn is the size of her father’s great sword that hangs above her fireplace, one she can barely lift. It would be a nice addition to the collection of anomalous and unique hunting trophies that decorated her walls.

Most women her age had settled down in either Lestallum or rebuilt their lives in elsewhere after the war was won, but Dannika decided to keep making a living the only way she knew how, in the way her father had. He had been a hunter rivaled only by King Noctis and his three companions. He fell during the ten years of darkness to an unanticipated ambuscade of daemons. Since the new dawn and the fall of daemonkind, revenge was impossible, so she honored him as best she could with his one true love. She enjoyed the work and often received calls for her specific help.

The spiracorn was alone this time, finally an opportunity to safely and quickly dispatch it. While its back is to her, she moved quietly to a cleaner shot, setting her sight and arrow, and when the animal turned just right, she let it fly. Her aim was true, and when the projectile found its heart, the beastly owner fell with little more than a gasp. Returning her bow to its strap on her back, she approached the dispatched creature and swiftly removed the appendage she came for.

Making her way back to her cycle, Dannika couldn’t help but dream of the food that was waiting for her back in civilization. Her stomach complained to her – it was evening and her last meal had been breakfast the day before. When she was hunting, stalking her prey was priority and self-care was often left on the backburner.

Riding was one of her favorite ways to relax after a good hunt. The warm wind caressed her and ruffled a few strands out of the thick dark hair she kept in tight bun. Making up music in her head and watching the road lines flash by made her forget all the things she didn’t have and made her appreciate the things she did have: a warm bed to crash into, a few Gils to keep her belly full, air in her lungs and a beating heart in her chest.

The sun was setting behind the hills and Lestallum’s lights were illuminating the nightlife that awoke after sundown. It was a common destination for bachelors and bachelorettes, and oftentimes when Dannika visited she indulged herself. Tonight, though, all she wanted was a good meal and a room to herself at the Leville.

 

 

Dannika startled awake when her phone buzzed violently on the night stand next to her. She groaned, wiping her hand across her face and glancing at the clock. It was only 9:30pm; her slumber had only lasted 2 hours before this unpleasant interruption. Leaning across the bed where she’d cocooned herself in blankets, she reached for her phone to answer the call. “Hello?” she grumbled, voice thick with sleep.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in Lestallum?” Her best friend Elise’s voice was like a hammer on her skull, and she winced as the high notes hit her sensitive ear drum. “Are you at the Leville? I’ll come get you.”

“Elise, no,” Dannika groaned. “I’m not in the partyin’ mood. I just wanna sleep.”

“Tough shit,” Elise said in a sing-song voice. “You shouldn’t have spent all that time tracking that spiracorn when you should have been hanging out with me. I haven’t seen you in weeks, and I have the next three days off! Be there in five.” Elise hung up, and Dannika fell against the bed in a huff.

She had barely pulled on some clothes before a rap at the door told her Elise had no trouble finding her room. Dannika let her friend in and went to the bathroom, glancing in the mirror. Her birds’ nest of hair was sticking up in twenty different directions, and she sighed as she grabbed her comb to try and calm it down a little. Elise walked in behind her and clucked at the sight. “Here, let me,” she said, holding her hand out for the comb. Dannika gave it to her without complaint – Elise had a knack for making her hair behave. After some harsh tugs on a few notably stubborn tangles, she was able to plait her unruly monster mane into a thick French braid that stretched flat against her skull and swept down to the middle of her back. Dannika noted that she had left a few strands out on either side of her face to frame it. It made her round face look more slender. It was a nice touch; she never would have thought of it.

Elise stepped back to survey her handiwork and shook her head in distress. “I’m so glad I had the foresight to bring you a dress. Your hunting gear is not something we want you in at Club Cauthess.”

Dannika threw up her hands and complained, “Elise, I really wasn’t gonna go out tonight. I’m exhausted, I’m sore, I’ve only been back in civilization for a few hours. I wasn’t fixin’ to be in a crowd of drunk and sweaty bodies after bein’ alone in the wilderness for a week.”

Elise ignored her as she rifled through her giant purse to pull out a sequined strapless dress that would barely cover her behind. “Here, this one is my favorite on you.”

Dannika accepted it and the fact that she couldn’t fight her friend on this. “At least it’s black,” she harrumphed, stomping into the bathroom to change. “I’m still wearin’ my boots, and you can’t change my mind on that,” she called after shutting the door.

After she had shrugged off her still-rumpled and dirty hunting gear and stepped out of the bathroom in the number Elise had picked, her friend whistled when she saw her in the little black dress. “Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes, sugar,” she said, mimicking Dannika’s own Leidan drawl.

Dannika ignored her, pulled her boots on, shoved her phone and wallet in the top of the right one, and grumbled, “Let’s just get goin’.”

Once they were out walking the promenade, Dannika remembered why she – and many other people – loved the Lestallum night life. The colors were bright, the booze was plentiful, the people were friendly, and happiness was easy to find, at least for the evening. They followed a particularly loud stream of music to their normal jaunt, Club Cauthess, a dance club that doubled as a hunter hangout. It was the only club she was willing to party at, mostly because she wouldn’t have to worry about the typical clientele spiking their drinks.

The two women walked up to the bar, not needing to show their IDs – they were regulars, something Dannika wasn’t sure she was proud of. She ordered a beer, and Elise ordered her usual fruity drink. The two surveyed the dance floor before Elise dragged her friend onto it. The bass boomed in her chest and Dannika moved to the beat, not quite into the scene yet. She figured once Elise got enough drinks in her, she would have no problem loosening up _._ Elise stirred her own drink and sipped from it, smiling at a man who was probably the type to sleep with her once and never text her back. Dannika rolled her eyes, remembering the way the atmosphere got to her friend. “At least gimme a couple songs before you ditch me for your booty call,” she shouted above the music.

Elise pouted, and yelled back, “You make me sound like such a harlot.”

Dannika shrugged. “Sisters before misters.”

Elise smiled and looped her arm through Dannika’s, bumping their hips together. “I’m gonna go get another beer,” Dannika said into Elise’s ear.

Her friend shook her head. “After the hunt you’ve had, you need something stronger. Let’s do shots!” she said, laughing and pulling Dannika back to the bar.

“Elise, I don’t know if I can handle shots right now!” Dannika protested, but Elise persisted, and at her command, two shots of vodka appeared on the bar. Dannika sighed, shook her head, but accepted her fate for a hungover tomorrow. She raised the shot and yelled, “Cheers to you, my best friend and bad influence!” Elise laughed, raised hers, and they took the shot, slamming the glasses down on the bar.

“Looks like somebody’s having fun.” A deep masculine voice came from behind them, rising above even the bass of the music. Dannika turned around to see a huge man towering above her, dressed in a black tank top and white denim pants. He was heavily muscled, with two scars on his face. Two other men stood behind him, talking to each other in a hushed way: a shorter, lankier bright blonde with a trimmed goatee and a tall, athletic dirty blonde with glasses. The one with the glasses rolled his eyes at something the other said, and seemed to be much less intoxicated than his two counterparts.

She could tell Elise was feeling her liquor, too, when she heard her reply flirty, confident voice, “Would you like to join us?”

Dannika started to protest, but the muscled brunette interrupted her. “Hell yeah. We’re definitely up for some fun. Right, Prompto?”

“Uh, y-yeah! Fun! Right!” the bright blonde yelled, swaying a bit. The dirtier blonde put his hand to his forehead for a moment, almost in embarrassment, and glanced around the bar, searching through the amalgamation of bodies. He seemed to be looking for someone.

Muscles gestured to the bartender for 6 shots, and said to the women, “Name’s Gladio by the way. Specs over there is Ignis, and Prompto’s the one with the half-beard.”

“I will have you know I’ve had many compliments from the ladies on my goatee,” Prompto said, coming up and leaning against the bar next to Elise as the shots were poured. _Shit, tequila,_ Dannika groaned inwardly. _This night is about to get interesting_.

Ignis raised an eyebrow, and she heard him say, “Compliments or questions on your fashion sense?” She wanted to smile appreciatively at the joke, but could tell from his tone his heart really wasn’t into it. He was still scanning the crowd. She wondered if he was looking for his girlfriend. That would explain his lack of attention to Elise. His two friends seemed to be really into her, which she couldn’t blame them. Her ebony skin was beautiful, and she knew how to work magic with her makeup, hair, and clothes. She might be a total genius when it came to electrical engineering, but damn, was she a hot genius.

“Wait,” Dannika stopped them as they went to grab their shots. “I only count five of us. Are you guys expecting someone? Should we wait?”

Gladio rolled his eyes and said to his friends, “Where the hell is Noct? He’s been in the can for at least 20 minutes now.”

Ignis pulled out his phone and scrolled through his texts. “He hasn’t replied to any of my messages.” His brows furrowed in a concerned way. _Maybe that’s who he’s looking for_ , Dannika realized.

Gladio shrugged. “Fuck it. Two shots for me!” He grabbed another one off the bar, shooting a pointed glance in Ignis’s direction.

“I’m afraid I should sit this one out. Prompto can take mine.” And with that, Ignis melted away from the bar and into the crowd. Dannika thought she heard Gladio mutter, “That’s not what I meant,” but it was hard to tell with the music blaring in her ears.

“Woo-hoo!” Prompto shouted. “Ignis is really missing out. They make the besssssssssst tequila in Lestallum.”

“Definitely,” Dannika agreed, but she also knew that the best tequila came with the best (or worst) hangovers.

Holding their glasses up to toast, the five took their shot(s), Prompto and Elise coughing afterwards, to which Gladio laughed and Dannika rolled her eyes. Elise pulled Gladio on to the dance floor, leaving Prompto leaning against the bar and Dannika standing gracelessly next to her new acquaintance.

“So, Dannika, right?” Prompto started after a few awkward minutes. She was glad to know that she wasn’t the only one that had a hard time talking to new people, but Prompto seemed cheery enough. She wondered why it took him so long to start a conversation with his personality. “Where are you from? I feel like I’ve heard your accent, but I can’t place it.”

“It’s a mix of Leidan and Galahdian. I was raised near Hammerhead, but my father was from Galahd, so I picked up a bit of his accent.”

Prompto bobbed his head. “Ahh! That explains it. My gi- my friend Cindy is from Hammerhead and has a pretty heavy Leidan accent, so that’s probably what I recognized.”

“Cindy? Cindy Aurum?” Dannika hadn’t heard that name in years.

“Yeah! Do you know her?”

“A little,” Dannika lied.

“Cool! Should I tell her you said hi?”

“I-“ She was saved from answering, though, by the return of Ignis. He had an amused but irritated look on his face, an expression that somehow made his features more attractive.

“No Noct?” Prompto guessed.

Ignis sighed, a gesture that moved even his shoulders, and replied, “He stumbled back to the hotel. I wish he would have told me… I would have escorted him back.”

“Damn, and I was just getting started,” Prompto laughed. “Iggy, seriously though, after all we’ve been through, you should know he doesn’t need a babysitter in Lestallum.”

Ignis glanced at me, and simply said, “I’d prefer if you went to stay with him, Prompto.”

“What?!” Prompto pushed away from the bar. “What about you?! I’m the one having fun here, while you’re being a stick in the mud as usual. _You_ should go!”

Gladio and Elise returned to the group just then, laughing and walking very close to one another, Dannika noted. “What’s up guys?” Gladio asked, after seeing the look on Prompto’s face.

“Ignis thinks Noct needs a babysitter. He says I should go. _He_ isn’t even drinking!” Prompto huffed and crossed his arms.

 _Prompto does have a point_ , Dannika thought to herself. _Why_ does _Ignis want to stay at the bar? It really doesn’t seem like his scene._

Gladio rolled his eyes. “Iggy doesn’t ever get to hang loose. Give him the night off, man. It’s the least you can do after all the laundry he’s done for you.”

“B-but-“

Gladio cut him off. “Prompto! Just go!”

Prompto stormed off, pushing through people in the direction of the exit. Gladio glanced at Elise, who giggled. Ignis nodded at Gladio appreciatively.

“You up for that shot now, Ignis?”

 

 

Ignis was laughing - _really_ laughing. Not just a chuckle at one of Prompto’s bad puns, or a snort from Gladio’s usual mischief, but a deep belly laugh that made him shake, close his eyes, and hold on to the object nearest him. He had never enjoyed himself so much in his life, or felt so carefree. And of all people, it was with a woman he had known for about three hours.

He spotted her swaying to the techno music through a break in the mob even before Gladio had pointed her friend out. She was tall and athletic, wearing black hiking boots that didn’t match her feminine dress. Her dark brown hair was in a long braid, and though he had no idea who she was, he felt compelled to talk with her.

Seeing her up close, with her head thrown back in a laugh just as deep as his own, he could see why he was attracted to her. Though her features weren’t unpleasant, they were too striking to be considered the typical mode of beautiful. Her nose was long and slender but her forehead was too small to balance it. She had freckles that peppered her acutely angled cheekbones – they and the full cheeks they framed made her look younger than she probably was. He could see why Gladio was more interested in her friend, who was a bronzed beauty with a figure of perfection. Ignis, though, noted Dannika.

He noticed the way she tapped her feet to the beat of the music, no matter what was on. He liked the way she would press her hand to his arm when he said something amusing. He appreciated the playful smirk that made uneven dimples appear in her cheeks and crinkled the corners of her emerald eyes. But he was especially fascinated by the way she exuded an air of chariness, intrigue, and lightheartedness, all at the same time.

And though they spent most of their time sitting at the bar, nursing too many drinks and laughing too loudly, when she finally dragged him onto the dance floor, her moves were so graceful, so elegant, so _easy_ , that he had to dance with her. The way her body almost _channeled_ the music made him dizzy, and he found himself wondering what it would be like to see her body moving like that in his bed. So when they were both much too intoxicated and Gladio and Elise had already slipped away, he had no qualms staying by himself in a club full of strangers, dancing with a woman who was barely more than one.

Once they both decided they had hit their nightly limit of drunkenness, rather than go directly back to their rooms, the pair wandered the streets of Lestallum. Ignis walked with his hands clasped behind his back, listening to Dannika describe her most memorable hunting trips. She talked with her hands, exuberantly so, but he didn’t mind. It was endearing the way it added to her excitement of relating the trips, and reminded him of the way he talked about cooking.

“Are you saying you don’t eat the meat you get from your kills?” Ignis asked incredulously.

“No,” she shook her head. “It usually goes to the client. Most people have a hard time raisin’ livestock, especially in Leide, so meat is a fairly unusual source of protein for people outside of Lestallum.”

“I never thought of that,” he mused quietly, then had an idea. “I would love to cook some for you, if you would like to join me for dinner sometime. We often have meat leftover from our hunts, even after making camp.”

“Wait, so what do y’all actually do?” Her eyes widened.

He cleared his throat, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want her to be threatened or belittled by his title, so he simply said. “We all work at Fort Vaullerey. We’re sort of like… security advisors.”

“Oh, so y’all in the crownsguard?”

“Something like that,” he said absently. He was realizing the significance of what he had offered her. Surely, a woman like her wouldn’t want to get involved with a man like him. His duty came first, and they were so rarely outside of the Fort she would no doubt have to visit him there. The way she talked about hunting made it seem like her first love, and the countryside was clearly her first home. He would hate to take that from her.

“So what are y’all doin’ in Lestallum then?” Her tone was cordial, but she seemed confused. Another emotion tinted the query, but he could not place it.

“We’re… celebrating, of a sort.”

“Celebrating what?” she pressed. Her voice seemed strained; the unknown emotion of the previous question was overcoming the confusion and interest.

 _Damn, she's an inquisitive one,_ Ignis thought. _Was she really that interested in what they were doing here?_ _And why?_ He paused, considering what to say, but decided on the truth. The alcohol made him forthcoming. “Noct is getting married.”

The news seemed to “Well in that case, you better tell him congratulations for me.” She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but return it. She had the kind of smile that could warm even the coldest of stone hearts. But he was still confused by her unaffected manner. _Did she truly not know who they were – or care?_

“I shall do that,” he agreed.

“But I’m still holdin’ you to that dinner,” she challenged. “When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow, unfortunately.”

“Oh, I see.” Her eyes turned sad, and her smile was gone. He immediately felt the warmth of it recede, and was desperate to get it back.

“But I’d like to see you again, if that’s alright,” he said lightly.

The smile returned, but not to its full extent. “I’d like that.” She pulled her phone from her boot – another quirk of hers, he noted – and gave it to him. “Put your number in, and I’ll text you so you have mine.”

He did as she asked, his slender fingers sliding easily across the buttons. _Ignis Scientia, 882358_. When he was done, he returned it to her.

“Scientia, huh?” she asked wryly as she typed her own name into a text message.

He felt his own phone buzz, but ignored it for now. It was most likely from her. “Yes, one of the royal houses, if you must know.” They turned and walked towards the Leville. It was getting late – he had noticed it was after 3:00 when he put his contact into her phone.

“Fancy.” She said, but that unknown emotion from just before had returned. Her expression had hardened something akin to wistfulness. Again, he pondered what effect his rank – the little he had said of it – was having on her image of him.

He shrugged, though a light blush overtook his features. “It’s nothing special. Scientias are not dukes or counts, but we are still considered a royal house due to our long heritage of servitude to the Crown.”

The last part of his explanation deepened her frown, and as they walked up the stairs of the Leville, their talk quieted. He walked her to her room, and stood outside the door as she unlocked it. “Did you want to come in?” she asked shyly. He was surprised when he saw a rouge color come across her cheeks and almost drown out her freckles – he hadn’t seen a blush from her all night.

As much as his body was screaming to say yes, he swallowed thickly and answered, “I will say goodnight, Dannika. It has been a pleasure.” He bowed, slightly, though he knew she didn’t know the meaning of the custom.

When she placed a kiss on his cheek, he felt his own blush appear, and she whispered, “Goodnight, Iggy.”

As he made his way down the stairs to his own room, his hand touched his cheek where she had kissed it, staring into the void in wonder. Though he had not fully appreciated the nickname before, the way it came out of her mouth made him cherish it.


End file.
